December 20, 2002
No comment. I'm not going to post a depressing rant, so if I can't say anything nice I may as well say nothing at all.

4:33 PM |

I had a weird dream Tuesday night, first of all I was in Crawley Down, in the newsagents. Behind the till there is a tiny office thing of which the door is always open, and in my dream they had put a new glass wall on the back wall, with a glass door, and you could see behind it that it had been extended to form a bar area, and it had blue lights in it. Even though I knew that the glass wall was new in the dream, it still looked old and scratched, with dirt on it. Then I started to walk home, it was dark outside, and suddenly this man materialised out of the shadows and started chasing me and trying to catch me, I was really really scared and started running as fast as I could but I wasn't really getting anywhere, then I sort of turned around and started running backwards towards my house, and I crossed onto the other side of the road, then the man seemed to have disappeared.

In the second part of my dream, I dreamt I was in this supermarket/classroom, and I was in the classroom bit which kind of looked a bit like the tiny library at college, but it was more posh looking with mahogany tables, etc. I was trying to get my 3D project done, sticking bits of junk onto junk etc..I only had like 2 hours to get it completed... I couldn't find any wire to secure things with and everybody else had wire.. so I went into the supermarket bit to see if I could find some. Apparently this supermarket was haunted but nobody had ever seen any ghosts there or experienced any ghostly presences (how does that figure!?). SO I walked to the back of the supermarket, and some stuff came flying at me, then I walked around the aisle and back to the classroom, and there were like these really tall pringle tubes on the shelf which toppled towards me when I approached them, and I knew ghosts were doing it. Somehow I then started flying around the supermarket, at about waist level. I flew past these people and made rude faces and weird noises at them for some reason. Then I was back at the classroom and somebody said "come back in an hour and we'll assess it" but I wasn't gonna come back, muhahaha.

Went to Dave's house yesterday and had really lovely pizza, then watched Blair Witch 2 which annoyed me because it didn't have a proper ending!! Going to Jaks tonight with the girls, should be fun ^_^

5:58 PM |

Anyway, yesterday, I went into school at 6:30pm to collect my A-level certificates, it didn't seem that I had been away from school for that long. They've repainted the common room blue, and that's about all the changes I could see. I saw everyone who had come home from uni, I saw Mitch... he has really gorgeous hair now, I was very impressed! Talking about hair, I'm getting my hair cut on Thursday, finally. They were giving out wine, so I had three plastic cupfulls of wine, gotta take advantage of that free alcohol. Then everyone was heading up to Wetherspoons, the new bar in East Grinstead. Most people went in cars, but Hayley, Gems, Ben (her b/f) and I walked there. The wine was going to my head a bit, I dunno what it is about wine but it makes me really tipsy. When we got there Hay and I bought each other drinks and sat down to drink them. After that Hayley and I met Kelly, Hayley's sis outside the Atrium and headed up to another pub to see some bloke called Mark whose birthday it was. Had some more drinks there... I was drinking Smirnoff Ice, which also gets me drunk quickly. Soon I was feeling REALLY drunk, I don't think I've ever felt that drunk in my life haha... David was texting me asking if I was going to Martines, I was seriously thinking of going (this was before all the drinking) but that would mean I would have to go home to change because I wasn't dressed for the occasion, and after drinks, I don't think I could actually move lol. He asked in a text how I was getting home and if I was coming to Martines, I was feeling really really dizzy and I couldn't concentrate or press the buttons on my phone properly so I sent him this weird text: "Dad? L6kj cant" haha! So a couple of minutes later he appeared in the pub to see if I was okay which was really quite sweet ^_^ At one point I went out to the loo and came back in again.. I couldn't open the damn door! I pushed it and pulled it but it wouldn't budge! So I ran round the side of the building where Hayley was inside sitting by a window and I knocked on it and told her to go and open the door for me, so she did and it opened easily..lol. I came in and everyone was laughing at me... how embarassing! Before long we all headed out to a park for a bit and we were like staggering everywhere and I couldn't see properly... hehe... then eventually I walked to the bottom of Hayley's road and got my Dad to pick Dave and I up. In the car on the way back I was practically falling asleep and really dizzy.... then got home and I sort of fell into the hallway and my Dad said "Are you a bit tipsy, Michelle?" and I was like "err.... *trying to find the right word* nah..." I grabbed a packet of chicken crisps (I always really crave crisps after I've been out) and collapsed on my bed. I ate my crisps in bed and this morning I found a ton of crumbs in there haha. I actually did pass out and woke up at 6:15 this morning feeling VERY dodgy and still a bit dizzy, I was feeling sick til about midday which was nasty. My phone came at about 11:30! It's sooooooo cool, but I'm not allowed to look at it anymore until Christmas because it's my present to myself (is that sad?), so yeah. Not sure what the week will bring, planning to go to Jaks on Thursday, really looking forward to that.. I'm NOT drinking though...

Saturday I was working with Chris on the till which was really good as we got to have a little chat and I didn't have to contend with all the customers on my own. He'd been out the night before to Jaks and was feeling rough. We were just talking about going out, and drink, and Jaks, and all that stuff, and started talking about g/f / b/f. I mentioned I like someone and he was like "who? who?" so I told him and he said that he had been out with him the night before and he was hilarious and stuff.... but he said he thought that he had only just started going out with this girl named Jo....... (nooooo!), but he wasn't sure cos he was pissed, but it's probably true, darn it. I told him that that news had made me really depressed, so next time he sees him, he's gonna ask him about me... ahh scary, he's probably gonna say that I'm a scary stalker or something (!) Ahh, I can't stop fancying him, he's just too cute and has gorgeous hair, eyes, the prettiest smile in the world, and everything else... ok thats enough, I'm waay too obsessed, it's probably because he's a bit of a challenge.. grr.

5:49 PM |

Monday
Got up at about 6:30am, packed remainder of stuff into my bag etc, etc, and my Dad gave me a lift to the train station at 7:30. Got the 8:05 train to Horsham, then I had to walk all the way (not that far really, lol) to college from the train station with my massive bag which hurt my hands. The coach left from college at about 9 to go to the Eurotunnel. The coach driver pulled over to the side of the road at one point because he thought the radiator on the coach wasn't working properly, but we soon set off again so I thought nothing of it. About an hour and a half later we stopped off at this service station for a break and were told we had 30 minutes or something, then when we got back to the coach, we were told that the coach was broken. They had phoned up the coach company for a new one but we would have to wait THREE HOURS for it to arrive, because it was coming all the way from Bristol. So I just whiled away my time reading, listening to music and thinking about stuff.... it's amazing how fast time goes if you just go into a daydream it's quite extraordinary... anyway, finally our new coach arrived at about 3PM and we all bundled into it and set off to the Eurotunnel again. We got on the train at about 4:30 and arrived in Calais at 5-ish. Then there was the 4 hour drive down to Paris. It went quite quickly actually, and we watched some videos on the coach. We had a break half way through the journey at a service station type thing. Arrived in Paris at 10:30pm French time and got off the coach. It was absolutely FREEZING, much colder than here in England, but there was no wind, it was really crisply cold if you know what I mean. We grabbed all of our bags and hauled them to our hotel. Our hotel was in this kind of back-alley type thing and there were 2 other hotels in the alley too. The hotel people had got the rooms mixed up and people weren't in rooms with people they wanted to be with, so everyone was swapping. I was in a room with 2 girls called Jemma and Sian. I knew Jemma because she's in my class but I had only met Sian that morning, she's really lovely and pretty as well. Then we found out that we had the shittiest room in the hotel - it was on the ground floor right at the front of the hotel, looking out into the alley. The heater wasn't working, which made the room bitterly cold, there were 3 beds squeezed into a miniscule space - I swear, it probably used to be a storage cupboard or something. There were 2 beds pushed together in the centre which me and Sian had, and then there was a fold down bed on the wall, which you had to duck under to get into the room when you first entered, which Jemma had. At about 11:30 we had a little walk around the area and found a cafe to sit in where people were really friendly towards us, probably because they wanted our money, haha. People ordered drinks and got heated up nuts free, and there was a joke about 'hot nuts' which I'm sure I don't need to explain, lol.. I didn't sleep much that night, I was really cold and kept shivering and thrashing about to get warm, and my pillow was really uncomfortable.

Tuesday
It was only in the morning that we realised just how central our hotel was, it was slap bang in the middle of the city which was fabulous. We had a little tour of Paris in the morning until 12pm, we drove around and had small stops to take pictures at the Eiffel Tower, and various spots which had good views of the city. We saw the only McDonalds in the world on the Champs Elysees which had a white sign, which was very exciting as you can imagine (!) Then we were dropped off at a gallery... which I can't remember the name of right now, but it's right on the river, quite close to Notre Dame. Looked around that for a bit, saw works from the likes of Van Gogh and Toulouse Lautrec, and many more, then left to take a walk around. Looked in some big department stores, etc. We were planning to get the Metro back to the hotel but when e looked at the map, we had walked to far, we were practically back at the hotel anyway, but we did take an unnecessary detour because we didn't know where we were for a second. We got back at the hotel and then planned to go and see where the Moulin Rouge was, so we set off but we took a wrong turn and went up the wrong road and we were all hungry anyway, so we couldn't be bothered and went in search of a restaurant for dinner. We found a Pizza Milano (Pizza Express). Ordered 2 bottles of wine between the four of us and the waitress seemed shocked, hehe. I don't usually drink wine, and after 2 and a half glasses of wine, I was feeling decidedly tipsy, and I thought that really odd because I didn't think I could get tipsy on so little! We left the restaurant and went back to the hotel for a minute. I got talking to Sian and we were talking about... blokes and I basically ended up telling her my life story, lol... got changed into something smarter at the hotel and headed off to this Irish pub really near to the hotel. Had a drink and realised that nobody else from our college were there yet, so we went to TGI Fridays for happy hour. Had a Malibu and coke, 2 Bailey's comets (baileys and amaretto... absolute heaven) and Jemma had this weird strawberry cocktail thing which had tequila in it and she didn't like it so I had it, hehe. Then we went back to the Irish pub, where there were loads more people from college. I had 1 more drink there. Drinks were soooooooo expensive though, it cost me about 6 euros for a drink (about 4 pounds I think). At around 12AM people were getting a little bit drunk and 16 year olds from the NC group were dancing on the bar, one particular girl started undoing her blouse (oh dear). I got talking to 2 blokes who I'd never met before from college, one called Jeff who kept taking photos of me (help) and another called Tom. I don't actually remember walking back to the hotel, but I remember that a load of people went back to Tom's room. I had a couple of swigs of whiskey that some anonymous person had handed to me, everyone was making sooo much noise, and being really rowdy, I was scared that tutors would like come and chuck us out or something because there were strict rules against drunken behaviour and noise disturbing other guests. No alcohol was allowed in the rooms. After about 15 minutes or so, Sian and I went to James' room where we played a card game thing and had to have shots of vodka and this weird blue liquor if we lost. After a while I left the room because I was tired and was getting bored, and made my way back to my room. One of the tutors was being really scary and angry and told me off :( When I got to the door of my room, I realised I didn't have my key, so I went off in search of Sian who I found, luckily on the stairs. James was trying to get her to write a postcard to his girlfriend and it was really hilarious because they were trying to write it in the dark and it was all messy and the writing was going downhill, and also it doidn't make any sense at all. I warned them that the tutor was on the rampage, and they quickly came to the door of my room. Just as we were at the door, the tutor came storming through the door and started yelling "GET INTO YOUR ROOM! YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN F***ING S*** IN THE MORNING!!!!" and that was really really scary because that tutor is usually really nice... we got into the room and James came in for a bit, then the tutor came to get him saying somebody from his room was looking for him and yelled at us to go to sleep. I got into bed at about 3AM. Some weirdoes from outside kept bashing on the windows and I was really scared. I must have just passed out or something because I awoke at about 8 in the morning and had to get up straight away because the coach was leaving at 9:30 and I needed to go down for breakfast as well.

Wednesday
I wasn't feeling too good. It had been a rather eventful night and quite fun actually. Got on the coach and all the tutors were really angry at everyone. Apparently the hotel people had called the police about all the noise and drink, underage drinking and everything else and they were gonna get sniffer dogs to go in the rooms to sniff for drugs. They warned that we could be chucked out of the hotel that day, and we were made to go back to the hotel to check that there was nothing in our rooms which could be suspicious etc. We were told that that night we had to be back at the hotel by 10:30PM and would be checked on by the tutors, if any of us weren't there we would be chucked off the course,I knew that was a bit unlikely, but scary all the same. Finaly got on the coach again and were dropped off at the Pompidou centre. We had all good intentions to go in and look around but we didn't in the end, but I do have a photo of it. Looked around some lovely small shops which were a bit like the ones you find in Brighton's lanes. Eventually we decided we were lost... and somehow we had wandered into a red light district of Paris where there were sex shops lining the streets and prostitutes on every corner. I had never seen that before and was quite and eye opener. Bumped into some British tourists who looked lost as well and found out that they were from the same hotel. Finally found our way out and on the right street. We got back to the hotel at about 3PM. Were planning to just have a little rest in the hotel and then go somewhere else, but ended up falling asleep til like 6PM. Then we went out for dinner to this really cool restaurant which was done up inside to look like the interior of an old fashioned posh train, it was fabulous. After that we went to TGIs again and I had just 1 Baileys comet and that was it. Went to the Irish pub again til 10, where I had no drinks at all, and then headed back to the hotel.

Thursday
Got up. Had breakfast. Piled my stuff onto the coach. We had a drive up to the Sacre Coeur (Sacred Heart) in Monmartre before we went home. Apparently around that area was where they filmed Amelie, which is one of the best films I have ever seen. I can really relate to Amelie. We drove past the Moulin Rouge but I wasn't able to get a photo because I was on the other side of the coach. Around that area was also a red light district, so there were more of the same sex shops, dodgy video stores and clubs. Took a trek up to the Sacre Coeur where there was a fabulous view, but it was foggy so it was nowhere near as good as it could have been if it was a clear day. There were sooo many steps and it made me realise just how unfit I am. Bought some souvenirs for my family on the way back to the coach, which then left for the 4 hour journey back to Calais, got on the train, then drove the 1 and a half hours back to Horsham, and it was foggy all the damn way, dammit! I had to wait for about an hour in the freezing cold outside college for my Dad to pick me up and my feet were turning into ice cubes. I got back and had the most amazing roast dinner ever that my Mum had cooked. I couldn't believe how warm and cosy the house was and I zonked out on the sofa for about an hour. I couldn't really relax and sleep properly in France. In the evening that program was on that my mum had been an extra in, 'Pam Ann' and we saw little glimses of her, hehe. Jade had completely wrecked the Christmas tree and all that there is left on there now is the lights. Oh well life must go on.

Oooh Gemma and Hayley and everyone else is coming home this weekind so I will be able to see them.....YAY! I'll probably get my new phone tomorrow too, woohoo.

6:41 PM |

Going to Paris tomorrow... will probably put a massive entry down when I get back on Thurday. Until then, byeeeee..........

8:23 PM |

Well, I'd better say something about my week, I guess... um... well at college on Tuesday I had my assessment which I thought was going to be awful.. I don't have a portfolio yet and I had to drag all of my work (loose work.. falling all over the place, you get the picture O_o) into the library at 10:30am where 2 tutors talked to me about my work and what I'm going on to do next, blah blah blah... gave me a merit+ for my visual studies which was fabulous :D and then I went home, got back about midday. Played 'The Sims' for the rest of the day and just lazed around which was great ^_^ Wednesday we had life drawing.. we had to paint a face... so this chunky woman was modelling, luckily she wasn't naked which was such a relief (!) In the morning we had to do an expressionistic fauvist style one with false colours and in the afternoon we had to do a realistic colours one... wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be but I was tired at the end of the day nonetheless. We were painting on these grey boards which smelled absolutely foul, I can't describe the smell, they were just nasty. After lunchtime when I came back into the room, I really got the full impact of it because obviously because we were in there for the whole morning, I grew 'immune' to the smell so to speak.. lol so after going back in there after an hour.... the smell hit you. Today I went in for about half an hour to put all my work in my plan chest, then came straight back home again. So.... that was the last day at college this year.. no more til 7th Jan..yay!..although it is the Paris trip next week.

6:25 PM |

Tomorrow is my assessment day.... nooooo! Aaargh. I will say no more about that until tomorrow when it's all over lol. Then Wednesday it's a whole day of life drawing.. but this time we have to paint... noooo! Then Thursday it's 'portfolio preparation day' but nobody will come in because our assessments are tomorrow so therefore we would have already prepared the portfolio... we can't really prepare it for uni interviews because we will need to put work from our specialist area projects in.. which we haven't done yet, so I see no point in that. Some groups have the portfolio preparation day before their assessment, so that would make sense, but not for our group.

Mmm I have lasagne for dinner.. yummy! I haven't had lasagne for aaages. Oooh yeah and I got a lantern in my advent calendar today :D

6:36 PM |

Erm.. not much else to tell really.. but that STUPID STUPID blonde girl Sarah got into the Popstars the rivals girl band!!! Grrr!!! She was the one I wanted to bugger off because she irritates me, and when it was a toss up between Javine and her, I thought Javine was sure to win because she has a voice 1000x better.. Sarah always sounds like she is singing karaoke... and she has a much nicer personality as well. How the hell did it happen? So annoying! That Sarah girl should go into Steps, where she belongs... with all the other rejects muhahaha.

1st of December today... my Mum bought me a Blue advent calendar lol.... I feel like a little 13 year old - but I do like Duncan rather a lot! haha I'm not turning into a teenybopper honest..

I had another dream about a tornado Friday night. I dreamt that I was in a car and it was driving down a road. I don't know if I was driving the car or I was a passenger but anyway, I saw this rotating mass of cloud in the distance which was approaching me and it looked massive so I was really scared. Even in my dream I remember thinking "great, I'm dreaming about tornadoes again". For some reason I got out of the car. All of the other cars on the road had stopped for some reason, and everyone looked really calm. I ran towards the car in front, squatted down beside it and clung onto it. It must have been in a different country because all the cars were driving on the right side of the road, I was squatting down on the right side of the car by the verge. I was thinking 'omg, if that thing comes here, I'll get carried away by it" but I stayed there anyway. Then I could see it coming closer and closer towards me and as it got closer it started coming down the road I was on, and it was travelling directly on the dotted line that separates the two lines of traffic. It looked smaller than what it had seemed to be when I had seen it in the distance. Then I sort of turned around and ran away.. and there were loads more little things I dreamt that night but I cannot remember what they were now and it's driving me crazy. I remembered on Saturday morning when I awoke but they've gone now. I know they were odd anyway.

3:58 PM |