August 27, 2002
I have been very busy working on my personal site over the last couple of days... there are some bits of art, which I'll be adding to, and info about me, I'll be putting up a photos section most probably... I'll see how it goes.
I had to go to work Saturday morning, I awoke at 6AM because I had this strange dream that I was travelling along this weird spider-web racetrack and then these really fast cars kept coming in the opposite direction along the right side of the track. Then they started to come from the left and the middle as well and I had to dodge them of they would crash into me. There were green areas on the track and when you went over them, you went faster and I was trying to avoid those. Then, I discovered that I could go up on the verge to avoid all the cars, and came to the end of the track. I got off whatever I was riding.. I think it was a motorbike or something, and started to run away from something that was chasing me. I couldn't go anywhere even though I was running like mad. Then I woke up. I went back to sleep and woke up again at 7 when my alarm went off. I must have dozed off again because the next thing I knew, I was looking at my clock and it was 7:58... I had to be at work at 8. So I had to rush, drastically. I was at work by 8:05, 5 minutes late. It's lucky I live so damn close. I don't think anyone noticed I was late, which was good. Saturday night I went to Martines in E Grinstead with a few mates... was quite boring, and left at about midnight because I needed to be at work at 8AM on Sunday, too.
Yesterday I went for a walk with my family to Turners Hill, my Mum is always saying how much she loves walking, and that she could walk for miles, BUT she is always the first one to complain that her legs are aching, and she had to have a sleep when we got back home.. so ha.
August 23, 2002
I just had to write and say that Jade just climbed more than 3 quarters of the way up the net curtain here in the dining room... I think she deserves some applause, as that's the highest she has ever got! Haha! It was really hard to prise her off of it as she wouldn't let go... yep, my house is mad... she wants to go outside and its pitch black out there.
I haven't posted in here properly for nearly a week... oh dear! Haha, well let me think.. I have had the strangest dreams this week that's for sure, I seem to think about things in the daytime, then at night I seem to dream them as well, which is really strange as that has never happened to me before. Last night I had a nasty dream that some of my friends went on a ride which was also a kind of train, at a theme park. I dreamt that I was going to go on the ride but I decided against it. The ride crashed and my friends died, that's so awful! Why am I dreaming things like that for? I saw the train/ride crumpling and everything... then on Monday night I think it was, I dreamt that I was in my living room and I had this weird cigarette thing, which has a massive funnel, well, it was kind of like a watering can sprinkler, but it was made with metal. My sister Andria kept picking it up and making the end of it glow, then dropped it on the floor and it turned into an ordinary small cigarette. The whole room filled with smoke then, and I saw Jade, my kitten, crouching on the floor and walking very low to the ground, and I dreamt that this was because she wanted to get rid of the smoke, then I went towards the door of the living room, opened it and went out into the hallway where it was all clear, then I came into the dining room to see my sister Nichol playing some Scooby Doo game on the computer. I have had other dreams but I can't really remember them.
I worked last Saturday, and I also worked on Sunday for 7 hours, which is the longest I have worked ever, hehe. Dammit, I'm working Saturday and Sunday this week, too.... bleugh. My b/f gave me a red rose on Monday when we went out because we had a sort of argument-disagreement thing last week, and I thought that was just really sweet.
I was just surfing earlier and came across this man's tunes on mp3.com... they're so good! I like that one called 'Sensitivity'. I came across him because I did a search for people similar to Darren Hayes... and he also sounds very much like Michael Jackson :) Very cool stuff. It's rare I find good people to listen to on that site... no offence to people on that site of course! I found this really crappy one earlier, it was this bloke and he only had one song, it was just him singing with no instruments or anything, and his singing was terrible! I won't give out any names...*cough* (who said that??!)
Here are just more pics of Jade... she's just too cute :) I took these yesterday, as you can see she now waits by the patio door until she can go outside in the garden, and she actually jumps up at the net curtains... and she also likes going in plastic carrier bags, she actually fell asleep in that one yesterday:
August 16, 2002
Well, I got my exam results yesterday... oh my god I got a D for biology(!??? - that was the exam I studied for the most, and in previous exams for biology I have got B's - 1 C when I didn't revise properly) It just doesn't make any sense and I keep thinking about it and its really annoying me because I just don't understand! I got a B in art and a C in geography, so not much to rave about really. I don't wanna talk any more about that because it's depressing.
Anyway, I went out last night with lots of friends and it was soo good, I really enjoyed myself. First we went to a pub In East Grinstead, then onto Jumpin' Jaks, which was really empty at first but it filled up with people which was really good because it's usually empty on a Thursday. At 12 I decided I wanted to head over to Martines, and it was extremely hot and sweaty in there it was unbelievable - completely packed with people, it felt like a sauna. I saw loads more people I knew... including a certain 'Matt', I saw him briefly on Monday when I went also but I didn't talk to him, but yesterday I just thought "sod it, I'm gonna say hello" so I did, and I got a hug, which is all I wanted really. So, yeah I had a fab evening. Its strange 'cause I has 2 dreams last weekend - the 1st dream I dreamt I saw him and said ignored him and the second dream the next night I dreamt I talked to him, so thats a bit strange. Basically I'm a bit strange so go figure, hahaha.
Oh dammit I'm working tomorrow AND Sunday.... which is annoying! Ahh well, more dosh is good ^_^
August 14, 2002
I am just feeling 100x better than I was yesterday, it's so odd I was just annoyed with everyone, biting my family's heads off, and just generally feeling down. Sleeping last night helped a little, but I've become more cheerful as this day has gone on. Drawing helps loads, I've been working on my Spiderman CG this afternoon in Photoshop, and it's looking okay so far. I guess I needed a little time to myself to chill, etc. Also, I have exam results for my A-level exams to collect from school tomorrow, so I guess that has been playing on my mind and I have no idea what grades I will get... so that's a bit worrying.
Last night, I only got to listen to about 2 Darren Hayes songs and 3 MJ songs before I dozed off on my bed. My Mum prodded me at about 11 reminding me to brush my teeth and get into bed properly, hehe. I didn't get to do any drawing either! Actually, something really bad happened last night to Jade, my kitten. Apparently, at 11:30 last night, my Mum couldn't find her anywhere, she looked upstairs in all the bedrooms, in all the rooms downstairs, just everywhere in the house. There is no chance that she can go outside yet because she isn't allowed, and there is no catflap or other ways of her to get outside without any of us letting her out. Well, while she was searching my room for her (I was asleep), she came across a window in my bedroom that was open, and which she could get out of if she tried. So my Mum woke me up, worried that the cat could have fallen out the window (my room is on the second floor, so it's quite a drop) and alerted me that my window was indeed open. I didn't really think that had happened, and was so tired that I went back to sleep. This morning my Mum told me that Jade must have fallen out of my window onto the patio below, as at about 11:50 my Mum checked outside in the back garden, and found little Jade all huddled up trying to keep warm. Luckily she isn't hurt, so I'm really relieved about that but I've been giving her extra fuss today. I'm definitely going to keep my bedroom window shut too, even though it wasn't actually me who opened it because that has happened to a cat before... twice. It must have been about 3 years ago when some neighbours of ours had 2 cats, one black and white and the other a tortoiseshell orangey-browny colour. We used to love these cats as they always used to come visit us in our house, and our house was like a second home for them. One day the tortoiseshell cat (it was the black and white cats's kitten) came into my room and jumped up onto the windowsill from my bed. The same window was open and I saw as the cat inspected the window then stepped outside onto the outside windowledge, which is slanted, very thin and slippery. The next thing I knew, the cat was slipping on the ledge and fell off it. I tried to grab her but it was too late. I was soo scared and got really worried as I heard the cat emit a meow that sounded like it was in pain. But th next minute, up it got and trotted into our house again, happy as anything and purring, etc. It did exactly the same thing about a week later... stupid cat, you'd have thought it would have learned, wouldn't you?
August 13, 2002
What the hell is wrong with me?? One minute I'm up, the next I'm a depressed mess, then I feel okay all of a sudden... I'm so damn confused about nothing-in-particular. Ermmm.... I think the problem is that I need sleep! When I wake up in the morning, all will be well. In the meantime, I feel like shutting myself in my bedroom, turning my lava lamp on and listening to George Michael and Michael Jackson, and stuff like that. Maybe some Savage Garden too, but I don't know. Then I'm gonna draw. Draw, draw, draw. Oh bloody hell I'm such a freak. We had a Chinese take-away for dinner, and on the way back in the car, Patrice Rushen's 'Forget Me Nots' was on the radio (one of my favourite songs ever), so that kinda cheered me up a bit. Talking of Patrice Rushen, I may listen to the MIB soundtrack also... I know it's from like 5 years ago, but it brings back good memories.
I sound like one of those annoying 15-year old angsty teenagers who only complain about their silly problems all the time, and they always seem to be depressed... well if that's the case, so be it! Nobody's happy and smiley all the time.
August 11, 2002
I didn't have to work today after all. In the week, Guy, the manager called me up and asked me to work today and next Sunday... I agreed because I need the money. But, when I finished work at 2PM yesterday, I popped in the office on the way out to confirm with Guy that I was actually working today and he said "yeah", and looked it up, but in fact I wasn't due to work today after all, I'm working next Sunday and the Sunday after... no complaints then this week... I got to have a bit of a lie in this morning and it was great. Actually, before yesterday I hadn't seen Guy for about 3 months because he was on holiday, then he went on sick leave because he injured his foot, and when he did come back, he worked evenings on a Saturday so I never saw him. I really like him actually, he talks to me unlike the other *ahem* 'mature' members of staff, who just seem to ignore me. During a busy period he helped me serve customers by using the other till and not letting me do it all by myself, and I overheard him talking to this man who had come in earlier in the day to buy shopping. The man had come back into the shop because he thought that Guy had overcharged him for his shopping for some bizarre reason, so Guy had to go through all the till roll to find out what he paid etc... and explain to the man that he had not made a mistake at all. Then Guy proved the man wrong and it was funny because he went off all embarassed...hahahaha. People never trust me, either, they always think that I have made a mistake with something, and then I have to check and double check, and explain that discounts come up when I press subtotal and doesn't do it as I go along... etc. If a price isn't correct or something, who gets the blame? Me.
Arghh, I'm sorry, this post has turned into a 'memememememe' rant...
August 8, 2002
Annoying quizzes... *looks at ceiling*
We took Jade to the vet in Copthorne this morning at 11:30 to have her first course of injections. We put her in the pet carrier and my sister Nichol had it on her lap, with the door of the carrier faced towards me because I am always forced to sit in the middle seat of the car - my sisters don't like sitting next to each other and I just get bossed about, forced to go in the middle seat which is small and squashy, even though I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THE OLDEST, and wisest, blah blah blah and I am supposed to be able to boss them about... but whenever I do, I get told off by my parents don't I? My sisters are always made out to be angels... it's so annoying! Well anyway the pet carrier was faced towards me, it has a cage-like door, so any claws thrashing about were injuring me. Jade was okay at first, but when the car started to accelerate and go around corners, she started to get really scared and started meowing and trying to get out of the door of her pet carrier. She also lashed out at me and now I have more scratches on my arm. She had her injections fine, and the vet also gave us some eyedrops for her left eye because she has this little infection in it, which makes her eye all watery. After about 5 days using the eyedrops, she should be just fine. On the way back she got scared again and was meowing all the way home - she usually doesn't make a sound, she is a silent cat and she sneaks around the house, and you don't know if she is in the room with you until it is too late... hehehehe.
August 7, 2002
Okay! I have finally sort-of gotten my layout up. The mood, and stuff and tagboard bits aren't up on all the pages, but I'll do that another time as it's not urgent... anyway I need some feedback - do you like this layout or do you think it's okay or do you absolutely detest it? I'm actually quite proud of it but obviously it won't appeal to everyone.
Right, today I have been working in this layout, and playing Phantasmagoria which we got from someone off ebay, and it came in the post yesterday. There are 7 discs, and I am already on no. 5... that means I should finish it tomorrow, hehe. It is actually a very short game, but its a bit scary. There was this movie thing on it earlier, where this magician named Zoltan put his wife's head in this contraption, then he turned the handle on it which made her head turn around until her neck cracked and broke. Eww, then there was another where this Zoltan character had another one of his wives (he had 5 wives, one after the other 'cause they kept dying... I am now finding out that he killed them) sitting in this other contraption with a funnel going up to her mouth, then he was shoving all these entrails down the funnel into her mouth and making her choke on them.. disgusting stuff, but oh-so addictive. Actually, you can see some screenshots here, the woman who got her neck broken is called Leonora and the one who was fed entrails is called Regina by the way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not into all the blood and gore stuff... I just like the game for the mysteriousness of it all and the fact that you don't know what the bloody hell is going on. It's also cool that they use real actors, even though the rendered backgrounds don't always look like they are blending in with the actors... well it is a 1995 game after all!
August 2, 2002
I went out last night, I saw Hayley and Gem which was great, and they're coming round my house on Sunday evening to watch 'Saturday Night Fever'. Yay. I saw Phil from work working in Jumpin' Jaks at the bar, said "hey", and apparently he's been working there for about 2 months.
Well at least I can say now that I have played 'Follow the Van'. Heh heh heh.
Today I've just been completely knackered. I was dozing and sleeping from about 4:30 in the afternoon to 7:45PM. I woke up and got really confused again and thought it was the morning, but I was looking out the window and saying to myself "but the light is all wrong, it looks like the evening" hahaha. I do get so confused about everything when I'm half asleep. I tried to play 'The Sims' but I just found myself dozing off so I knew then that I needed sleep... talking of sleep, I think it's my bedtime now. Zzzzzzzzzz.
I have started on a new layout for this journal, by the way. I have had this layout since May... and I'm finding it hard to part with *sniff* but I'm trying to make the new layout better than this one.
